A Short Blog Is Better Than No Blog At All

I had all of these ideas for how I wanted my life to change and even though I’m not actually starting my project (I love a project) until late October there were (are) things that I wanted to implement early so that I’d all ready be somewhat improved by the time I began really trying all these new things out!

I still haven’t meditated.

I decided to write for thirty minutes every day even if it was rubbish. Especially if it was rubbish. Because that is how you improve. I envy my younger self her total confidence (not that I was ever confident in the conventional sense but I believed in myself. I thought I could write, at the very least).

I wish that I was the sort of person who could switch off entirely and just relax without thinking. Does that sort of person exist or does it take work to get to that sort of level of bliss.

Anyway, I was prepared to have things go from good to great…and then things got bad and worse. Which is to say I wasn’t dealing very well with life and work and all of that stuff. The fact that I may be made redundant soon terrifies me.

But going to Edinburgh made everything feel a lot better. And putting space between myself and my job is helpful.

I’m back from the Fringe but I’m not back to work until after the bank holiday. And I’ve reread Mike Gayle’s The To Do List in which he does over 1200 things in a year.

I’m currently working on my list of 100 dreams which I read about here: http://lauravanderkam.com/2010/10/100110-my-list-of-100-dreams/

I know it sounds a bit self-centered but as Gretchen Rubin always says being happy makes others happy and other people being happy can make you happy. So I shall aim to be happy. Happier.

We saw a Tim Fitzhigham show in Edinburgh called Challenger. I’ve always loved Dave Gorman’s quests and even (truly I love it) Eat Pray Love. And doing my film project made me happy. So, onwards. One step at a time. 

I'm 28.

I thought that by the time I turned thirty I’d have got rid of my spots! Honestly, I thought they’d be gone before my twenties. I really believed that they were for teenagers. Young teenagers. And that they’d disappear just like braces (which I didn’t have) and gawkiness (which I did).

Except my gawkiness hasn’t gone either. Gawky makes it sound cuter than it is. Awkwardness. I still don’t stand up straight enough either. Tall and awkward – a delightful combination. And I’m so bad at small talk I avoid hairdressers and opticians. Not good.

I still can’t use chopsticks. That has got to change. Has to. I also want to learn German and buy a violin. I could play it when I was 16. I’m sure it’s like riding a bike. Except I don’t really want to ride a bike again as I’m an adult now and I’d have to ride it on the roads and not just round the streets. And I don’t like the roads. That’s why I don’t drive. That, and I like to read on the bus.

I want to meditate but I’m useless at finding time to do it. That and I don’t think I’ll be much good at it. And I always want to do well at everything. I’ve always been a swot.

I’ve started worrying about money – that’s new. Another wonderful part of adulthood.

But I’m going to revolutionise my life! Well, maybe revolution is too strong a word for it. I’m going to improve it and improve myself but I’m not going to start just yet!

Okay, it’s always worth making your life better but I’m going to try to do some specific things after I turn 29 and (deep breath!) before I turn thirty.

I’m hoping my thirtieth year is the best and most exciting one yet. Wish me luck!